


some other way (hide my face)

by asexuelf



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Zuko (Avatar), Experimental Style, Hurt Zuko (Avatar), Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Jet (Avatar) Is An Asshole, Multi, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Polyamory, Rare Pairings, Title from a My Chemical Romance Song, an attempt at poetry through prose xD, i love him too i just need him to be slightly evil for plot, sorry jet fans :(
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:54:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24854914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asexuelf/pseuds/asexuelf
Summary: Zuko joins the Freedom Fighters, rolling with them as he and his uncle make a new life in the Earth Kingdom. That all changes when Jet discovers who he truly is.
Relationships: Jet/Zuko (Avatar), Longshot/Smellerbee (Avatar), Longshot/Smellerbee/Zuko (Avatar), Longshot/Zuko (Avatar), Smellerbee/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 199





	some other way (hide my face)

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in 2018, but the fandom was dead then so i never ended up sharing it, not least of all for its experimental nature. now that atla is back in 2020... i figured maybe the nu fans will enjoy it? xD
> 
> sorry again to jet fans. i promise i dont think hes evil! just fun to cast as the villain
> 
> and thank you to [dramatispersonae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dramatispersonae) for the title!! :3
> 
> i hope you enjoy~

when the boy with the tiger-hook swords approached him, zuko sensed trouble, but nothing quite like this. what he would face at jet’s hands was not worth the pay out of the few content moments he shared with him, not knowing what weight they truly held.

-

jet had been mostly kind. he had a habit of being arrogant, sometimes manipulative, but zuko was smart when it came to that sort of thing. he had been trained by azula to recognize danger in the form of kind words.

and smellerbee usually called him out, those few rare moments when the saccharine words would start to lure zuko closer. longshot's hand on his shoulder, gaze cool and knowledgeable and understanding, pulled zuko back to himself easily. he'd thank the archer with his own gaze, and then turn his eyes to the ground, the sky, the walls, smellerbee's shoes; anything to avoid making cow-eyes at jet again.

-

azula hadn't taught him well-enough, it would seem.

by the end of his first week with the freedom fighters - what was left of them - jet had pulled him easily into his web. helpless and caught, zuko tightened his arms around jet's neck, deepening their kiss.

he'll wish, later, that he had been stronger.

-

he wasn't sure how jet found out. he almost never firebends any more, finding a strange solidarity between his swords and jet's own. his swords used to be lonely, even swung as two. now the burn of the flame in his hand was the outlier, strange in the slum where everyone was running from something, from war.

zuko ran from jet. he didn't want to fight him.

jet was faster.

-

zuko doesn't tell uncle iroh what jet did to him. he doesn't tell anyone. he goes home, cleans up, ignores his wounds, his body, and is silent for the entire day after. iroh knows something is wrong. zuko doesn't know what to tell him.

he's so ashamed of his weakness. he wants to be strong, but jet took that strength from him.

his kisses, before, had been so sweet. his soft hands in zuko's hair, telling him he's beautiful, scar and all. telling him he's worthy.

jet wasn't like that. not this time.

zuko is silent for nearly two days, but when he finally speaks, he says nothing.

-

smellerbee shows up at the door at the beginning of the second day after, breathing heavily and sweating, like she's ran. zuko doesn't say her name, but he looks at her, and waits. longshot isn’t with her. she looks strange without him.

"excuse me," she says to iroh, who's staring at her with wide eyes. she seems to realize she's just barged into a tea shop like there was a killer on her tail. "excuse me, teamaster mushi," she tries again, attempting a bow. iroh chuffs, about to interrupt, but she continues, "i need to speak with li, if that's alright."

her voice, the quiet rasp of it, is soothing. zuko missed her. misses her. he is terrified of why she's here, but his face says nothing.

she can see it, anyways. she's loved longshot for this long, and known zuko more truly than most people ever have, even in the short time they were acquainted. even through his mask, li, the lie.

"what's wrong, smellerbee?" asks li, as zuko's legs take him closer to the girl. zuko doesn't speak. "i haven't seen you in days."

smellerbee glances at iroh, then at li. no. zuko can see it in her eyes, round and expressive. she's looking at _zuko_.

jet must have told her.

he is filled with shame, and fear, and hope.

"can we talk more privately?" she asks, strangely quiet, the way someone talks to a frightened animal, the way mother would call for the baby turtle ducks, the way zuko needs someone to speak to him right now even though he hates it.

zuko nods, and turns to go up to the apartment area of the tea shop, where they've been living. she follows at a respectful distance, and keeps that distance when they're alone.

they're quiet for a while when they face each other. smellerbee is trying to speak with her eyes, the way she and longshot do, the way he and longshot do, but neither of them are as good at it without him there. finally, smellerbee sighs.

"jet didn't tell us everything. mostly we guessed. and i-" she chokes, then shudders. "i’m sorry. it’s not-" she shakes her head, biting her lip, and grimacing. she looks as disgusted and horrified and ashamed as zuko feels. "i’m so sorry. we thought he could move on and get better, he told us he would, but he-" she swallows, with what looks to be great difficulty. her voice is quieter, somehow, barely a whisper, when she drops her chin to her chest and closes her eyes in grief. "i never imagined he would do that to anyone."

zuko doesn't speak. he says i know. he says i’m sorry. he says i forgive you. he says where's longshot.

smellerbee isn't looking at him.

he puts a hand on her shoulder, the first touch he's dared since the hesitant, desperate hug he silently coaxed from uncle iroh yesterday morning. if iroh had noticed him crying, he hadn't said anything. the hug had lasted a long time.

smellerbee's eyes meet his and her face opens, then crumples again. "li..."

"i’m not." he says, and talking is so hard. he wants to go to sleep, but he'd miss her. "i’m not li. i- i lied to you. thats why he, that’s why he,"

smellerbee brings two fingers to gently touch his hand where he's holding her, narrowing her eyes. "there's no good reason for what he did. it is not your fault. i- longshot and i, we don’t care who you are. we don’t care if you're from the fire nation. you and mushi, you have a good life, a new life, the way the freedom fighters were supposed to. you helped us help people. you’re a good man."

she asks if she can hold him and he says yes. she moves slowly forward, putting her hands respectfully between his shoulders, his own arms looping around her neck. he didn’t realize how much he needed to be held.

"i don't care if you’re the firelord himself," her voice is passionate angry kind protective mournful loving. "longshot and i, we'll protect you. we should have protected you."

zuko is silent for a moment. then, he takes a gamble, rolls the dice, because he's already lost so much, why not lose the rest. why not earn it back. why not leave the mask behind, leave the blue spirit drifting in the water to drown.

"i’m glad you feel that way," he says, and he doesn’t recognize his own voice. he sounds like he’s a kid again, sad, tired. he doesn't dare pull away from the embrace. "my name is zuko. the firelord, my father, banished me from my palace and my nation, and left this scar on my face as a constant reminder of my failures as a prince and a son."

smellerbee grows still for a moment. then, hesitantly, gives a supportive, forced laugh.

"i’m being serious."

he can’t see her, but he knows she blinks. she pulls back from him, putting her hands on his upper arms. she blinks again at him, surprised.

"oh." she says. "uhh..."

he pulls his mouth sideways, not sure what to say. "yeah."

"well... longshot's going to be really surprised when he's back from killing jet."

zuko's eyes go wide, and he speaks louder than he has since. "longshot is _what?_ " zuko's mind becomes a disorienting rainstorm of is longshot safe is longshot safe is longshot safe is longshot ~~safe~~.

smellerbee opens her mouth, inhaling to speak, and says nothing. she looks awkward, apologetic. the way she looks when she knocks out a guy that zuko had dibs on. the way she looks when she accidentally steals too much from longshot's bowl.

it's so out of place here, in this situation, that zuko almost laughs. he is horrified. he isn’t sure what he wants. he wants longshot to be here, and jet to, jet to stop, jet to stop existing, so they can be okay. so zuko can be okay.

"well," she breathes, finally. "well, i mean."

they're silent for a moment.

"i have medicine for your- wounds."

zuko is glad for the change in subject, but would prefer a different one.

she helps him dress his wounds best as she can, although zuko is uncomfortable - _don't remember don't remember don't remember_ \- with the intimacy. the way the freedom fighters were, are, seems so freeing and so strange. they bathe together, shameless, and smellerbee's face now is calm, almost clinical. she speaks as she works, saying he won’t need stitches, but that he should rest, apply the salve generously, and stay at home for a while.

"maybe get mushi-"

"his name is iroh." zuko interrupts, not feeling like he's a part of his body anymore. "but he _is_ my uncle." he takes a breath, tries to find out what he was talking about. "he's nice."

smellerbee is patient, slowly and tenderly applying the bandages. "he is nice." she agrees. "you should ask your uncle if he has any healing teas, see if that helps."

zuko nods, but his words don’t match the action. "i haven’t told him. i can’t."

zuko's eyes aren’t focused enough to see her, but he thinks she looks up at him, her hands stopping. he doesn’t want to look at her. he doesn’t want to see pity. "i’m here, li- i mean. zuko." his name gains new meaning in her mouth. "longshot will be here soon, too."

zuko nods.

"he'll be here soon." she sounds like she's trying to convince herself. it was hard for her to leave longshot, zuko knows that; he wonders why it was easier for her to come help him. he wonders if longshot is okay.

zuko nods. "he'll be here soon."

-

longshot is there, soon, a bit after the shop is closed and zuko and smellerbee are helping iroh clean up. when he gets there, he is silent as the grave, as per usual, but he nods to smellerbee in a way that implies 'the job is done', and nods to iroh in a way that implies 'hello, i just killed a man for your nephew because i care for him greatly, and i would do it again'. luckily, iroh doesnt know him well enough to hear that, so he nods back a polite hello.

he seems to know that things aren’t normal - he doesn’t ask where jet is, and he doesn’t ask why longshot has a slightly bloodied nose.

zuko doesn’t know how to feel. he walks forward, even though iroh is right there, even though smellerbee should be the one to do it first, and wraps his arms around longshot's middle, tightly, even as the action surprises him with a jolt of fright. longshot holds him back, still not speaking.

when he pulls back and meets his eyes, longshot's gaze says 'i’m okay. thank you for worrying. you’re safe now.'

longshot looks at smellerbee and seems to say the same thing.

smellerbee seems to say back 'i love you' and 'scare me again and i’ll kill you next'.

iroh looks between the three of them, completely flummoxed. zuko stares at his uncle, then longshot, then smellerbee, then his uncle. finally, his eyes close and he sighs, arms still slightly around longshot.

"my uncle and i, mostly- mostly i, but we... i have something i need to tell you."

longshot looks into his eyes again. _i know._

zuko's brow furrows, his remaining brow quirked in confusion. "you do? but, i mean- how?"

longshot glances at iroh, then back to zuko, and zuko understands.

"he told you?" he whispers, and longshot closes his eyes. when he opens them again, they look sad.

"will someone _please_ explain to me what is going on?" iroh grouses, looking between them all. "this is all very dramatic and i appreciate that as best as an old man can, but i would like to understand who knows what and why."

zuko looks at smellerbee, who's waiting for him to make a decision, following his lead - it's his home, it's his hurt, it's his secret, it's his uncle. she'll stand by him. he turns back to longshot, and his eyes are kind, intense, caring. 

_you can do it_ , they say. _you'll be okay_.

he nods, _thank you_ , and turns to his uncle.

zuko tells him everything.

-

things are stranger after that, but good, too.

smellerbee holds his hand sometimes, sleeps so close to him when she and longshot stay over that their foreheads touch and he can feel her breathing through her nose. longshot's eyes linger on his longer, and sometimes longshot will scrape something off his plate and onto zuko's if he knows he likes it - or take something off of zuko's if he so pleases. once, longshot puts an arm around zuko's shoulders while they’re sitting together and it’s so out of character for him that zuko knows it must have been pre-meditated.

without thinking about it, he presses a kiss to longshot's cheek. without thinking about it, he puts his blanket over smellerbee, pushing her hair away from her sleeping mouth.

everything is different, but it's better, too. jet was a good leader, but he was rarely honest. now they work together, the three of them, and do whatever good they can around the city. sometimes this means odd jobs, carrying heavy boxes or protecting a store at night, but sometimes this means taking out gangs or raiders.

zuko likes working in the tea shop. he likes sitting between smellerbee and longshot while iroh tells them little stories, making them smile as they all share tea.

life is... better. better than it ever has been. as much as zuko doesn’t trust it, he treasures it. even as he waits for it to all fall apart again, for longshot's rare, tender touches to suddenly turn violent, for smellerbee to crouch and growl and attack, he treasures it, preserving the sound of longshot's voice in his memory in the same place as smellerbee's laugh.

just in case.

-

azula strikes the deal - kill the avatar, win father's love.

zuko denies her.

when she shoots aang down with lightning, zuko throws all the fire he can at her, at her agents. he frees iroh, and he runs.

he knows who loves him now.

-

weeks later, he reunites with smellerbee, with longshot. they tell zuko the avatar is alive. they tell zuko the avatar needs a firebending teacher.

suddenly, it all makes sense

his destiny is here

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading 💖


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